house

Season One Episodes:

  1. Pilot
  2. Paternity
  3. Occam's Razor
  4. Maternity
  5. Damned If You Do
  6. The Socratic Method
  7. Fidelity
  8. Poison
  9. DNR
  10. Histories
  11. Detox
  12. Sports Medicine
  13. Cursed
  14. Control
  15. Mob Rules
  16. Heavy
  17. Role Model
  18. Babies & Bathwater
  19. Kids
  20. Love Hurts
  21. Three Stories
  22. Honeymoon

Episodes12345678

Rebecca Adler: I just want to die with a little dignity.
House: There's no such thing. Our bodies break down, sometimes when we're ninety, sometimes before we're even born, but it always happens and there's never any dignity in it. I don't care if you can walk, see, wipe your own ass, it's always ugly. Always! You can live with dignity, you can't die with it.
— Everybody Lies


The pilot of House, titled Everybody Lies, first aired on November 16, 2004. A young kindergarten teacher is brought to the hospital and diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer by Wilson. When she doesn't improve with treatment, Wilson seeks out House for another opinion. When House fumbles the initial diagnosis, the patient tires of being a guinea pig just as House feels he has found the right answer. Meanwhile, new hire Eric Foreman tries to get used to working with the world's most difficult diagnostician. Cuddy, frustrated with House's lack of a work ethic, decides to go to extreme measures to get House back into the habit of working in the hospital's free clinic.

Although the style of this episode sets it apart (which is understandable for a pilot episode), what strikes many fans of the show is how little changed between the pilot and the rest of Season 1. In many cases, shows are entirely reworked and recast after they are picked up by a network. But in House, the plot devices, characterizations and casting of each character are entirely consistent not only with Season 1, but the rest of the series as well. Although many thought the character of Gregory House was unbelievable for his bad behavior, his behavior not only doesn't improve through most of the series, it often gets worse. As for the others, Cuddy remains the stressed-out manager, Wilson the easygoing best friend, Foreman the ambitious achiever, Cameron the innocent ingenue, and Chase the talented slacker.

In March 2012, Robert Sean Leonard, who played James Wilson, said in an interview that this was still his favorite episode of House. He praised the simplicity of its story and its lack of sensationalist plot elements. He also noted that for most of the episode, House himself seldom appeared, preferring to stay in the background as a shadowy character who was merely talked about by the rest of the cast, who carried the story themselves.

Recap

Rebecca Adler, A kindergarten teacher, suddenly begins speaking gibberish and becomes confused in front of her class. Her panic mounts, and she hastily scribbles the words "Call The Nurse" on the whiteboard before collapsing in a Grand Mal (tonic-clonic) seizure.

A month later, Dr. James Wilson introduces the teacher's case to his close friend Dr. Gregory House, a diagnostician. House is worried people will think he's a patient because of his limp. When Wilson suggests he wear a lab coat, House tells him he's afraid people will think he is a doctor. House thinks that the patient has a brain tumor, but Wilson asks him to take the case because she's his cousin. Wilson doesn't think it's cancer because she isn't improving with radiation therapy. Wilson reminds House that he has three overqualified doctors working for him that would love to work on the case.

House meets with his diagnostic team and reminds them that "everybody lies". New hire Eric Foreman wonders why House isn't with the patient, but Allison Cameron tells him that House doesn't like meeting patients. At this point, House has stopped thinking it's a tumor. Robert Chase thinks it is an aneurysm or stroke. Cameron thinks it might be mad cow disease. Foreman thinks it might be Wernicke's encephalopathy, despite a negative blood test. House tells them all to proceed with the appropriate tests.

Lisa Cuddy, the Dean of Medicine, comes looking for House to berate him for not working hard enough, including being six years behind in clinic duty. He says he's going home, pointing out that he can't be fired because he has tenure and is always at the hospital during his assigned work hours. Cuddy agrees that he still has a good reputation, but argues that it will go to hell if he doesn't do his job.

Cameron and Foreman begin a test, but it's cancelled on Cuddy's orders. It is revealed that she has taken away all of House's hospital privileges, the only thing she has the power to do to House without board approval. An enraged House confronts her, but she's unconcerned with his threats. She tells him to go and do his job. He tells the team to do the MRI, then goes to do clinic duty.

The team starts the MRI, but the patient feels ill and then starts to have trouble breathing. They get her out of the MRI, but she isn’t breathing due to an anaphylactic reaction to the contrast dye used in the MRI. Chase performs a tracheotomy and intubates her. He then compliments Cameron on realizing the patient was in distress so that they could get her out of the machine in time.

They manage to stabilize the patient and get her conscious, and conclude that she had an allergic reaction to the dye used in the contrast study.

House tells the team to give the patient high doses of prednisone. He thinks she might have vasculitis, despite its unlikeliness. They can't do a biopsy to confirm, and the only way to test her is to give her the drugs and see if she responds. However, the patient realizes they aren't treating her for cancer, and is relieved she might not have a tumor. Chase is upset that they might be misleading the patient into thinking she doesn't have cancer.

Foreman goes to the classroom to do an environmental scan. He finds a parrot and thinks it might be psittacosis. House dismisses this because none of the kids are sick and it is unlikely five-year-olds would take more hygiene precautions than their teacher. House tells him to break into the patient's apartment to do another environmental scan. Foreman is resistant, but House knows that Foreman broke into someone's house and was arrested when he was sixteen, and says that's why he hired Foreman. Foreman reminds House he can't be fired for refusing to break into someone's home.

Cuddy asks House why he is giving the patient steroids. She comes to the conclusion that House is guessing and she wants to stop the treatment. They argue about who is in charge. She reminds House he has no evidence that the patient has vasculitis. He asks her why she's so afraid of making mistakes. Cuddy goes to see the patient and stop the steroids, but when she arrives she finds that the patient has improved greatly and has an appetite. Cuddy realizes she may have been wrong.

Wilson examines the patient, who really wants to meet House. She asks if he's a good man. Wilson says House is a good doctor. He does admit that House is his friend, and that House may even care about him. Suddenly, the patient complains that she can't see, then has a seizure. Her heart rate skyrockets and she goes into cardiac arrest.

They defibrillate the patient and test her for brain damage by having her arrange pictures to form the elements of a story, but she can't manage it. However, she passes the test five minutes later. They realize that although her sight has returned, her brain is dying. House tells them to stop all treatment because each of the possible diagnoses has a different timeline. It isn't a tumor and the steroids helped, but they don't know why. House admits he's stumped. Foreman decides to follow House's orders to break into the patient's house and asks Cameron to come along because the police are usually easier to deal with when a pretty white girl is around.

Foreman and Cameron search the patient's home. Foreman discusses his former criminal record. Cameron says she was 17 before she had a criminal record. Foreman fixes himself a sandwich and says he's a bit upset he got the job because of his criminal record and not his perfect academic record at both Columbia University and Johns Hopkins Medical School. Cameron says she didn't do nearly as well as Foreman in school and starts wondering how she got the job.

They report to House that they couldn't find anything to explain her symptoms, but Foreman reports that she isn't Wilson's cousin—she had ham and Wilson is Jewish. Wilson bluffs, but then gets the patient's name wrong. House calls Foreman an idiot—House has realized that Rebecca may have neurocysticercosis (a tapeworm) from eating pork, something that would never have occurred to him if he still believed the patient was Jewish. That would explain why she reacted well to the steroids initially, but then got worse: tapeworms usually stay in the digestive system, but the eggs can pass into the bloodstream and then flourish anywhere, including in the brain. If the tapeworm is healthy, the immune system (and patient) never even detect it. However, when the tapeworm dies, it stirs up the immune system and causes swelling in the area, in this case Rebecca's brain. Even though the test for parasites was negative, it is a false negative in about 30% of cases where the parasite is present. There is no other way to test for it except by trying to treat it. However, the patient is tired of being treated and wants to go home and die.

House tells the patient she is an idiot for refusing treatment. She reminds him that his previous diagnosis was wrong. She asks why he's crippled and he explains that he had an infarction in his thigh and they didn't figure out what was wrong until it was too late to treat it. He tells her few people get to experience pain like muscle death and admits to the patient that at the time he hoped he would die from the pain. She thinks he avoids patients because he doesn't want people to see him crippled. He tells her there is no way to die with dignity—everyone dies and it's always ugly. You can only live with dignity.

The patient still refuses treatment. The team wants House to claim she's mentally incompetent, but he won't do it. He's solved the case and he feels the work is done. The patient wants proof, but House can't do that. Chase says there might be a way to prove it to her—do an X-ray in her leg where there is likely to be another worm. Although they have the same density as cerebrospinal fluid, they don't have the same density as muscle. House enthusiastically agrees. They do the X-ray and find a worm larva. She agrees to the drug treatment and is surprised that it only takes two pills a day for a month. There are side effects, but they are manageable.

Cameron asks House why he hired her. He says he hired Foreman because of his criminal record, Chase because his dad called, and Cameron because she was extremely pretty. When she is shocked, he says he did it because she worked hard despite the fact she didn't have to. Gorgeous women usually opt for an easy life and they don't go to med school to work really hard unless they are damaged. At that moment, Cameron's pager goes off.

They manage to bring the patient's class in to visit her despite the rule about "family only".

House asks Wilson why he lied about the patient being his cousin. He says it got House to take the case. They talk about lying while watching a medical drama.

Clinic Patients

House is finally forced to go to the clinic for the first time in nearly six years. Cuddy gives him an interesting case — a patient with bright orange skin. He tells the patient his wife is having an affair because she hasn't noticed the color change, which was caused by eating too many carrots and taking too much niacin. The patient asks to have House fired for making him think his wife was having an affair, but Cuddy won't do it because he's the best doctor they have. We see that the patient is no longer wearing his wedding ring.

The next patient is a 10-year-old boy with asthma. The mother is not giving him his steroids because she's worried about the side effects. House reminds the mother her last doctor weighed no drugs against no oxygen. He suddenly realizes something and goes back to his dying patient, but tells the mother if she doesn't trust steroids, she shouldn't trust doctors.

The next patient thinks he has chronic fatigue syndrome or fibromyalgia. House thinks he is just getting older. House buys some mints and puts them in a Vicodin bottle, which he then gives to the patient. House keeps the Vicodin for himself. The patient later comes back for a refill.

Major Events

Zebra Factor 7/10

Neurocysticercosis is the most common parasitic neurological disease in the world. It's very common in the developing world, but is somewhat rarer in New Jersey. In a patient with no history of foreign travel, it is very rare.

Title

The title of the episode comes from the fact that this is the pilot episode of the show, shot in order to attempt to sell the series to a network. It also goes by the unofficial title "Everybody Lies". In foreign markets, the title of this episode often refers to this unofficial title.

Music

Cast

Trivia and Cultural References

Reviews

The show did not get off to a strong start. It finished 62nd in the ratings the week it premiered with about 7 million viewers. Although many of the reviewers thought Gregory House was a unique and fresh character, they challenged the plausibility of the main premise of the show—that a doctor who behaved with such cruelty would be tolerated because of his talent. Reviewers also thought the rest of the characters were largely stereotypes and that the premise of a doctor who consistently finds a string of rare diseases to diagnose was implausible.

However, the show was reviewed better than a similar show, Medical Investigation. Critics thought MI was too plot driven and liked how House, M.D. was more character driven. Reviewers also preferred House's character to the characters on the competing show.

Re-reviewing the Pilot later in the series, Blogcritic noted that House's characterization has barely changed from his appearance in this episode. It also notes something important—House has trouble opening up to friends and colleagues, often using humor and sarcasm to deflect. However, he has no problem opening up to Rebecca and sharing his near-death experience with her. This is a consistent pattern through the series and points out that perhaps the reason House hates meeting patients is not for the reasons he states (they lie and they're boring), but because he has problem keeping his composure around them. This does back up one of House's other reasons for not meeting patients—he doesn't want to get emotionally invested in the case because he knows his objectivity will suffer. The critic also noted how well crafted the show was from the very beginning—very little that appeared in the Pilot had to be changed once the series started.

Medical Ethics

Goofs

Gallery

The gallery for Pilot can be found here.

Quotes

"Everybody lies."
―House's credo
"Is the yelling designed to scare me, because I'm not sure what it is I'm supposed to be scared of―more yelling? That's not scary. That you're going to hurt me, that's scary, but I'm pretty sure I can outrun you. Oh, I looked into that philosopher you quoted, Jagger, and you're right, 'You can't always get what you want.' But as it turns out, 'if you try sometimes, you get what you need.'"
―Cuddy, winning the clinic duty battle
Student: You could smell our parrot.
Foreman: You said you didn't have any pets in this class?
Student: A parrot is a bird.
— Pilot
"People used to have more respect for cripples, you know. [turns to a patient in a wheel chair], They didn't, really."
―House complaining about Cuddy using the stairs to get away from him
Foreman: So we're just going to do nothing? We're just going to watch her die?
House: Yeah. We're going to watch her die. Specifically, we're going to watch how fast she's dying. You just told us: Each diagnosis has its own timeframe.
— Pilot
"You know what? After centuries of slavery, decades of civil rights marches, and… more significantly, living like a monk, never getting less than a 4.0 GPA, you don't, you don't think it's kind of disgusting I get one of the top jobs in the country because I'm a delinquent?"
―Foreman complaining to Cameron about getting the fellowship because of his darker past
Cameron: So because you respect her, you're going to let her die?
House: I've solved the case: My work is done.
— Pilot
"I need thirty-six Vicodin and change for a dollar."
―House, scamming Vicodin and financing placebos for Tired Guy
House: No, it wasn't a racial thing. I didn't see a black guy, I just saw a doctor… with a juvenile record. I hired Chase cause his dad made a phone call. I hired you because you are extremely pretty.
Cameron: You hired me to get into my pants?
House: I can't believe that that would shock you. It's also not what I said. No, I hired you because you look good; it's like having a nice piece of art in the lobby.
— House on why he hired his team
"I'm your doctor. You've been good to me and good to this hospital, of course I care, but I don't see how this conversation can end well for me. Either your wife is having an affair, or she's not having an affair, and you've come here because you rightly think I should fire him. But I can't. Even if it costs me your money. The son of a bitch is the best doctor we have."
―Cuddy to Orange Man
Nurse: Dr. House? You have a patient. [Parts blinds to reveal another former clinic patient] He says he needs a refill.
House (to Wilson): Got change for a dollar?
— Pilot
Rebecca Adler: Am I ever going to meet Dr. House?
Wilson: Well, you might run into him at the movies, or on the bus.
Rebecca: Is he a good man?
Wilson: He's a good… doctor.
Rebecca: Can you be one without the other? Don't you have to care about people?
Wilson: Caring is a good motivator. He's found something else.
-Pilot
"So how'd you get the job? You stab a guy in a bar fight?"
―Foreman asks Cameron why House hired her
House: Unfortunately, you have a deeper problem. Your wife is having an affair.
Orange Man: What?
House: You're orange, you moron! It's one thing for you not to notice, but if your wife hasn't picked up on the fact that her husband has changed colors, she's just not paying attention.
— House breaks the news to his first clinic patient in five years
House: Not many people get to experience muscle death.
Rebecca: Did you think you were dying?
House: I hoped I was dying.
— House reveals to Rebecca the source of his disability
Cuddy: …and nobody knows anything, huh? Then how is it you always think you're right.
House: I don't, I just find it hard to operate on the opposite assumption. And why are you so afraid of making a mistake?
Cuddy: Because I'm a doctor. Because when we make mistakes people die.
— Cuddy explaining why she opposes House's treatment plan
House: Gorgeous women do not go to medical school… unless they're as damaged as they are beautiful. Were you abused by a family member?
Cameron: No.
House: Sexually assaulted?
Cameron: No.
House: But you are damaged, aren't you?
—Pilot
"Oxygen is so important during those prepubescent years, don't you think?"
―House to Asthma Mom over her reluctance to get Asthma Boy to use his inhaler
Rebecca: I wanted to thank Dr. House, but he never visited again.
Cameron: He cured you, you didn't cure him.
— Rebecca and Cameron expressing regret that House has once again abandoned the patient after he solved his puzzle
"How come we always have to talk to you what we did, and you never tell us what you did?"
―One of Rebecca's students asks why she never opens up about herself
Foreman: I thought everybody lied?
House: Truth begins in lies. Think about it.
— House expands on the philosophy of his credo.
"Pretty much everybody I like is five years old."
―Rebecca on her friendships
House: She's my patient. That's what you do with patients. You give them medicine.
Cuddy: You don't prescribe medicine based on guesses. At least we don't since Tuskegee and Mengele.
House: You're comparing me to a Nazi? Nice.
— Cuddy on medical ethics
Cameron: Can't diagnose that without a biopsy.
House: Yes, we can. We treat it. If she gets better, we know we're right.
Cameron: And if we're wrong?
House: We'll learn something else.
—Pilot
Foreman: Isn't treating patients why we became doctors?
House: No, treating illnesses is why we became doctors. Treating patients is what makes most doctors miserable.
— House on his approach to patients
House: See that? They all assume that I'm a patient because of this cane.
Wilson: So put on a white coat like the rest of us.
House: I don't want them to think I'm a doctor.
Wilson: You see where the administration might have a problem with that attitude?
House: Ehh, people don't want a sick doctor.
Wilson: That's fair enough. I don't like healthy patients.
—Pilot
Foreman: Oh, Cameron, I need you for a couple of hours.
Cameron: What's up?
Foreman: When you break into someone's house, it's always better to have a white chick with you.
— Foreman on American race relations
Rebecca: (about House) He's your friend, huh?
Wilson: Yeah.
Rebecca: Does he care about you?
Wilson: I think so.
Rebecca: You don't know?
Wilson: As Dr. House likes to say, 'Everybody lies'.
Rebecca: It's not what people say. It's what they do.
Wilson: (pause) Yeah. He cares about me.
—Pilot
"People choose the paths that gain them the greatest rewards for the least amount of effort."
―House, on why he's intrigued about why Cameron went to medical school
Cameron: House doesn't believe in pretense. Figures life's too short and too painful. So he just says what he thinks.
Foreman: 'I say what I think' is just another way of saying 'I'm an assho—'
— Cameron gets Foreman up to speed on their boss's personality
"I assume it's a corollary if 'people lie' that 'people screw up.'"
―Foreman suggests they re-do the tests
House: I'm angry! You're risking a patient's life!
Cuddy: I assume those are two separate points.
— Cuddy deflects House's tantrum over having his privileges revoked.
Cameron: I was in the top of my class.
House: But not the top.
— House breaks the news to Cameron that she's not as talented as she thought.
Cuddy: Patient is orange.
House: The color?
Cuddy: No, the fruit.
House: You mean yellow; it's jaundice.
Cuddy: I mean orange.
House: Well, how orange?
—Pilot
House: Far as I know she's running a meth lab out of her basement.
Foreman: She's a kindergarten teacher.
House: And if I were a kindergarten student, I would trust her implicitly.
— House, foretelling the development of "Breaking Bad"
"If we don't talk to them, they can't lie to us, and we can't lie to them. Humanity is overrated."
―House, on why he doesn't meet patients
Foreman: I should sue you.
House: Pretty sure you can't sue somebody for "wrongful hiring".
— House, deflecting Foreman's anger about gross invasion of privacy
Child: Why are you smelling Vinny's pants?
Foreman: I'm not.
Child: Looked like you were.
Foreman: I was smelling the floor.
Child: Oh.
—Pilot
"We're happy you're not dead, Miss Rebecca."
―The kindergarten class' greeting card
Wilson: You've never lied to me?
House: I never lie.
— House, giving the only possible answer for a person who always lies
House: Should I discontinue the treatment, boss?
Cuddy: You got lucky.
House: Cool, huh?
— House, gloating
Cameron: Kind of hard to work for a guy who doesn't respect you.
House: Why?
Cameron: Is that rhetorical?
House: No. Just seems that way cause you can't think of an answer.
—Pilot
"What would you prefer—a doctor who holds your hand while you die or who ignores you while you get better?"
―House, engaging in the Socratic method

The Audition Scene

This is the scene that the actors trying out for the House character had to play out, including Hugh Laurie. It's repeated in this episode.

Cuddy: I was expecting you in my office 20 minutes ago.
House: Really? Well, that's odd, because I had no intention of being in your office 20 minutes ago.
Cuddy: You think we have nothing to talk about?
House: No, just can't think of anything that I'd be interested in.
Cuddy: I sign your paychecks.
House: I have tenure. Are you going to grab my cane now, stop me from leaving?
Cuddy: That would be juvenile. I can still fire you if you're not doing your job.
House: I'm here from 9 to 5.
Cuddy: Your billings are practically nonexistent.
House: Rough year.
Cuddy: You ignore requests for consults.
House: I call back. Sometimes I misdial.
Cuddy: You're 6 years behind on your obligation to this clinic.
House: See, I was right, this doesn't interest me.
Cuddy: 6 years, times 3 weeks; you owe me better than 4 months.
House: It's 5:00. I'm going home.
Cuddy: To what?
House: Nice.
Cuddy: Look. Dr. House, the only reason that I don't fire you is because your reputation is still worth something to this hospital.
House: Excellent, we have a point of agreement. You're not going to fire me.
Cuddy: Your reputation won't last if you don't do your job. The clinic is part of your job. I want you to do your job.
House: Well, as the philosopher Jagger once said, "You can't always get what you want."

Release Dates

In other languages

Latin America Piloto
France and Quebec Les Symptômes de Rebecca Adler (Rebecca Adler's symptoms)
German Schmerzgrenzen (Thresholds Of Pain)

Links

This article was the featured article for July, 2014.

This article is also available in Spanish at es.dr-house.wikia


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